Updated: May 16, 2020
Wednesday, October 30th, 2019.
That was the day I decided to tell my boss of 3 years that I was moving on from my job.
I was a bundle of nerves.
I wasn't leaving out of ill-will, and I didn't want them to think that. I kept repeating my announcement to myself, praying that I would get it right when the moment came. I don't enjoy conflict. I have a hard time thinking that those I love and respect might think badly of me.
Though I am certainly not a people-pleaser. Because when it comes down to truth and my convictions, I am not easily swayed. That is why I was leaving my job; we had been convicted. My husband and I felt a tug at our souls and concluded that how I utilized my time needed to change.
So I gave them my two months notice.
Yes, months. Which normally would be overkill, but our decision had been made that I would work until the end of the year, and I didn't feel I should put off telling them when we already knew. Plus, as I was the only one in my department, this would give them plenty of time to find a good replacement and maybe allow me to train them before I left.
So I told them, my boss and office manager, unsure of how they would react. And I told them what I was moving on to (it wasn't another paying job). And they were happy for me.
It made leaving a lot easier, and a lot harder.
I know that they are excited for me and the things that are ahead. I know that they will be cheering me on. I know that I'll miss the daily banter and support and camaraderie that comes from being in the same place working toward the same end together, day in and day out. In a company where people take the time to invest in other people and help them, it's easy to feel connected.
I also know that this is what I'm supposed to do right now.
I am grateful for the things I learned over the past 3 years. I am grateful for the opportunities I was given to grow. I am grateful for the investment that was made in me. It wasn't perfect, but no job or workplace ever is.
I got frustrated at times. There were even a few really bad days where I came home and cried. But in the course of 3 full years there were far more good, fun memories made, and I will treasure them. I will treasure the friends that I made along the way.
Monday, December 30th, 2019.
That was the day I wrapped up my work of 3 years and clocked out for the final time.
I did everything I could to make sure the next employee in my position would know how to do their job. I left behind detailed instructions because training is confusing and difficult and sometimes it's hard to remember everything.
I did all I could. And I tell myself it's okay to grieve over responsibilities that were so important for so long that are no longer mine.
I'm moving forward, too.
Today is the day I begin a new journey. The day I start to really focus on what is ahead. The day I try to figure out what the next steps look like.
This year is going to be hard. I can already tell. Hard in a good way, though. Somehow, I think it's easier to face and conquer the hard when you know it's what you're supposed to be doing.
Different is always hard, too. I have never, ever found it easy to face change. But the hardest part for me is always just before I reach that self-drawn line of no return, and in this case that line was 2 months ago. So now I face this unknown with expectation; excitement, even in the unknown.
What makes it bearable is this: my God is with me. He is for me, and He will not leave me.
I go into this new year and new chapter of my life with this truth tucked in my front right pocket, ready to pull it out at a moment's notice. It will persuade me when I doubt. It will affirm me when I question. It prepares me and arms me for every challenge that I will face.
Faith is what guides me, and I pray that I will hold fast to it in this upcoming year.
And I pray that you will look to Faith as your guide this year as well. It makes every journey better.
May God bless you & send you a Happy New Year!